i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
