so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
