a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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