I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
