I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
