i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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