You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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