New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
