this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I look better un-naked...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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