I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
