i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sober January is a disaster.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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