I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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