Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
