So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
