you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
