I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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