He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
