My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
