I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My bed smells like the plague
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
