Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
are you so shy because you have an std?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
