I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
