youre lurking in front of me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
this just has baby written all over it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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