Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
