can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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