Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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