i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Say something about gay babies.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
