The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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