ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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