Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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