Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
