so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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