Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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