We need to rekindle our bromance
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's shark week go big or go home
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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