As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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