he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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