Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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