you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
