Too much gin, very little bucket
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
