turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
