We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
there is glitter all over my balls
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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