Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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