i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
