Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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