Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
