benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
