I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
