Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
