I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
