Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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