called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
