i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
