I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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